(Source: tastefullyoffensive)

yesings:

what if i died in like twenty years and all i left my girlfriend was a box and like she gasps and reaches down to her chest where her key necklace hangs that i gave her twenty two years ago, and she uses it to unlock the box and all that is in there is a string which you can pull to reveal an embarrassing photo of spongebob at the christmas party

(Source: miniaturepoodle)

  • me: [gently touches the sleeping cat]
  • cat: [makes a tiny cat noise]
  • me: ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh nooooooooooooooooooooooooo ohh noo ohhhhh nooooooo oh no oh nooooo oh my god oh noooo

seabelle:

I can’t stand these fucking people with these fucking family window stickers on their cars a murderer is gonna come into your fucking house and you’re gonna try to hide your kids in the fucking closet and he’s gonna be like naw bitch I saw your fucking mini van I know you have six more kids where are they

cokeflow:

I envy literally everyone who is talented at anything

(Source: fingerblaster113)

pkmntrainermadoka:

when ur friend starts liking something u rly like

image

(Source: kewlichijou99)